A look into my brain

• Why does the parasite have the hiccups?
• Why am I gaining so much weight? I try to eat super healthy and yet I am packing on the pounds, or as my doctor said “the holidays have been good to you”. I might as well shovel in some ice cream and twinkies if I am going to get fat.
• Why are my neighbors up and having conversations at 4 in the morning?
• Why do the fire alarms in this apartment always go off? I feel like I am back in college and living in a dorm.
• Why was it 28 degrees this morning in Florida?
• Why can’t I just lay an egg and put it in an incubator for 9 months?
• Why do people eat at chain restaurants? Am I the only person that dislikes them and the mediocre food they serve?
• Why do boys walk around in shorts and t-shirts during the winter and then complain they are cold?
• Who stole my Amazon package? I hope you enjoy your green yoga mat...douche weasel.
• Why does my stability ball keep deflating? Is it because I am/have a fat ass?
• Why do records cost more than CDs?
• Why would you make the doors on a bathroom go to the floor? How am I supposed to know if someone is in the stall?
• Why does my nephew keep making me sick? Does he hate me?
• Is it grey or gray?

I have been meaning to write a new post for ages, but am just too darn lazy and brain dead. I have realized the only time my brain functions is between 2 and 5 in the morning. Since I cannot seem to stay asleep at night I tend to be awake for a few hours each night. During this time, I think of all these witty and meaningful things to post and then by morning my brain has erased them. I should keep a notepad by the bed so I can write things down, but that would be too much work. Of course, a most of my thoughts revolve around a common theme, go back to sleep, arghhh why am I awake, I have to get up in X hours, this sucks…