Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dinkleberry (dingleberry)

I have been informed that sometimes when boys poo, remnants may get stuck in their ass hair. When this happens, the best remedy is to shower. Unfortunately when one showers the problem-some ass hair absorbs a ton of water and is hard to dry. So what is one to do? You could borrow your girlfriend/roommates/wife's hair dryer, but this could lead to frizzy, split end ass hair. My solution is ShamWow, it is the perfect way to suck the excess water out of your ass hair without causing damage to the individual hair shafts. Please, for the sake of healthy ass hair, run out and buy all the men in your life a ShamWow.

Dinkleberry - A tiny dried up or petrified ball of feces that gets caught in a man's ass hair. It can be the result of not washing your ass or not properly wiping your ass after taking a crap.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Watching ABC = Safe Sex

At the end of the evening news, ABC makes the proclamation "Where Americans Come First", so I have concluded that ABC is like a condom.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


I am creating a new show called 12. It will be everything Jack Bauer can do, but in half the time.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Living the Dream

EL: We get to wear jeans Friday if we make $5 donation to the food bank.

BL: K, but that's $5 out of your pocket. I have to pay my own coffee club so
you can donate food on your own ;p

EL: I am thinking I am going to donate more than $5. Don't worry I will pay
for it out of my own money. I know starving people are not as important
as you being able to drink pond scum office coffee.

BL: You know... you get me... you really do. I like that about you.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Staying Classy in the Hill Part 2

I think we have out done ourselves with these euphemisms.

Releasing a hostage

Growing a tail

If you don't understand then check out this posting.