A look into my brain

• Why does the parasite have the hiccups?
• Why am I gaining so much weight? I try to eat super healthy and yet I am packing on the pounds, or as my doctor said “the holidays have been good to you”. I might as well shovel in some ice cream and twinkies if I am going to get fat.
• Why are my neighbors up and having conversations at 4 in the morning?
• Why do the fire alarms in this apartment always go off? I feel like I am back in college and living in a dorm.
• Why was it 28 degrees this morning in Florida?
• Why can’t I just lay an egg and put it in an incubator for 9 months?
• Why do people eat at chain restaurants? Am I the only person that dislikes them and the mediocre food they serve?
• Why do boys walk around in shorts and t-shirts during the winter and then complain they are cold?
• Who stole my Amazon package? I hope you enjoy your green yoga mat...douche weasel.
• Why does my stability ball keep deflating? Is it because I am/have a fat ass?
• Why do records cost more than CDs?
• Why would you make the doors on a bathroom go to the floor? How am I supposed to know if someone is in the stall?
• Why does my nephew keep making me sick? Does he hate me?
• Is it grey or gray?

I have been meaning to write a new post for ages, but am just too darn lazy and brain dead. I have realized the only time my brain functions is between 2 and 5 in the morning. Since I cannot seem to stay asleep at night I tend to be awake for a few hours each night. During this time, I think of all these witty and meaningful things to post and then by morning my brain has erased them. I should keep a notepad by the bed so I can write things down, but that would be too much work. Of course, a most of my thoughts revolve around a common theme, go back to sleep, arghhh why am I awake, I have to get up in X hours, this sucks…

Food Porn

Imagine serving this dish at your next dinner party.

This long distance dedication goes out to Alyssatard in H-Town

While waiting in line for some after race snacks, we ladies started discussing the merits of the running skirt. Now some girls scoff at the idea of the running skirt believing that real runners would never wear one. Well these girls are obviously misinformed twats because I happen to know a certain ultra-marathoner who rocks out the running skirt. Not only is the running skirt comfortable you also look super cute. I am taking creative license with some of this because who can really remember a conversation they had 3 weeks ago...

EL: I love my running skirt. I wore it during 2 halves and it rocks.
A: Running skirts dece to dece plus!
EL: Mine just has spanks under it, so it's like running in your underwear.
A: Running in your underwear is awes! !

Then things got strange when the lady behind us joined the conversation. Let's refer to her as CT.

CT: I really like running skirts, but I can't wear them because of my camel toe.
A: WTF!

I think that pretty much ended the conversation and we all refrained from eye contact because we were about to lose our shit. I just wish I informed CT that it was not a camel toe that was her problem, but more likely moose knuckle.

New Music Tuesday

The third and most anticipated album by COTVD is regrettably the worst. French mountain music is a bit overplayed and nothing surprises us with their latest effort. It’s time to hang up the hurdy gurdy.


















Cammenga front man Pachento's mastery of the pan flute takes us worlds beyond Machu Picchu and Lake Titicaca to places only seen by ancient Incan astronauts. Put your space suits on and enjoy the ride.














Perhaps the most critically acclaimed album since Our Lady of Egypt Church's sophomore album “I Know I'm Close to Success”; List of Holocausts Survivors' "Encircled by the City of the Living" submerges you directly into the death camps of Nazi Germany and leaves you frail and thin with pleasure.





For more information about these bands and to listen to tracks from the albums click here.