In Bruges

Wasn’t feeling great last night, so I plopped myself on the couch and we watched In Bruges which was on of the best movie I have seen this year. Last year my favorite was Pan’s Labyrinth and this year my favorite to date is Stardust (a movie that we tried to watch about 5 times before the powers that be allowed us to view it). I do not advise you watch Stardust on a plane unless the battery life of your laptop is over 2 hours. Ours crapped out with about 40 seconds left in the movie. We seriously had some problems trying to view this movie, we had downloaded it from ppv 4 times and each time we would go to view it we would get some cryptic message. We would then call Directv and they would refund our money, well except for the last time when we were told they could not refund the $4.99 fee, but would give us Showtime free for a month. We were excited about having Showtime until we looked at the schedule and realized most of the movies we could watch on TBS for free.

Anyway, I digress, the whole point of this was to tell you how dark and witty In Bruges was and to tell you all to get it on ppv or NetFlix, or for you traditional types, hit up the local video store. One thing you will notice about the movie is that quite a few of the actors also appear in the Harry Potter movies.


Took this picture when we were in Bruges last September (or maybe B did, but probably me because all the good pictures I take and he takes all the crap). If you pay attention at the beginning of the movie, the same shot is seen in the first 5 minutes of the movie. Only difference is the trees in my picture have leaves.

Favorite lines from the movie:

Ken: Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world.
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't.

Ray: What are they doing over there? They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken: Ray...
[Ray runs off and watches Jimmy, the midget, being instructed by the director, who Jimmy flicks off as soon as he leaves]
Ken: Ray, come on. Let's go.
Ray: Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.

Business plan

Mad Hatter Tuna "Taste the Crazy"

Cheesy squirts

Have you seen the ad for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Crackers? The kid eats the cracker and then a fountain of cheese explodes from below, lifting the kid into the air. Hand me that box of macaroni-shaped crackers, I am overdue for a greasy, yellow explosion?

Career change

My cousin brought up a conversation about Livelinks last night over dinner and apparently, I am not that hip, because I had never heard of it. He said it is a chat line that you can do over text messages on your phone. This is an awesome idea and almost guarantees you are talking to a fat man wearing a stained wife beater. As I though about it more, I decide this might be a good way for me to make some extra cash. Apparently, you are charged $0.99 a text, so first rule would be to make sure your texts are very short. The more texts the more money you make, duh. I am trying to write s scrip for my chats, here is what I am so far; I am so hot, moist, moist, moist, moist, moist…That’s like $6 and I am sure I got your juices flowing.

Real men don’t drive these:

1. Cabriolet
2. Del Sol
3. Boxster
4. Z3

These are chick cars, so if you are driving one, it better be your girlfriends’ or people are going to laugh.

The end of the world…

The Kid has cleaned his room! We should all head to the nearest bomb shelter because this can only mean that the end of the world is at hand. Seriously, I really think The Kid is going to like living in a clean room. The rest of the house is clean and he chooses to spend 98% of his waking hours in any room but his own, this proves to me he prefers cleanliness to clutter. Maybe this cleaning will lead to some sort of epiphany, one can only hope.

If you are wondering why, after 18 months of living at this house The Kid has finally unpacked and cleaned, it would be that we have put the house on the market. We are hoping that by staging the house and keeping it spotless we may be able to sell this house in an awful market.

B thinks it might be funny to tell The Kid we are not really selling the house, but that it was just a ploy to get him to clean his room. I think that would just be mean.

Speaking of cats...

Let me introduce our little monsters.

Blackened Voodoo comes from a privileged life of country clubs and tennis Voodoo’s favorite hobbies are killing small critters and flinging eye funk on the walls. Voodoo is all black and also responds to the names Darkness and Blackie.













Minerva Jones had a rough life on the streets of a trailer park in southern MD. Here she was abused by local kids and forced to find food in dumpsters. We stumbled upon Minerva one day and she has not left my side since (seriously cat won’t leave me alone). Minerva enjoys wet food and incessant meowing. She also responds to the names Baby Kitty and Grayskull.